...why?

I remember the days I use to breath in your words and let out a giggle of content. Those days seem like yesterday yet at the same time decades away. I don't understand how you always end up in my life. It's so strange to see you. It's like our lives are running parallel to each other. Are we just waiting till the other is ready? The way you look at me says you haven't forgot me and I see a slight pain in your eyes...is that true or do my eyes see only what my mind wishes? So I sit here in my bed sipping on the devils poison to help me forget knowing it'll only bring me closer to the memories of you. I push everyone else away so I can sit here with my memories of you. Their like old faded photo's that you can barely see the people in them. So I sit in these decaying remembrance. What made my heart leap into your hands so quickly? I barely knew you and to this day I know almost nothing about you. So what is it about you my dear?

Marry the night

It's so strange that every person in my life has entered and left when needed. Like they are all on a certain time-line to be in my life. All the choices I've made in my life have led me to this point and every choice from here on will lead me to the life I'll have. Those I have faught to keep in my life have had such a big impact on my life, some stayed but some left big holes in my heart. Now I look at this man that I long to see every morning and wonder if he has had a love that will never leave his heart. That one person we both know I'll never be able to replace. She was everything he wanted and she left him beaten but not broken. I don't know what it is but every part of me wants to let him know he loved and cared about and awesome. I feel like he and I are both looking for someone to share our time, at least part of it, with but we are apprihencive about it. Maybe, we're scared to love or to hurt another person. Slowly trying to let go of our past we try new things. Neither of us knows what will happen on the day of our meeting but I feel like it's going to be life changing. Not just meeting him but going to London with a best friend I've made in less than a year. He and I are so impulsive its wonderful! Without him I would have been a complete mess after losing her. Although, I've never said it he knows he means alot to me and has done alot for me. I'll have his back till the day we die. Maybe, the reason people think I'm dating my friends is because I love them more than society says I should. I choose friends based on who they are and not by what they look like or social status. When I tell someone I love them or like them I mean it with my whole heart. It's not a status given lightly by me. If you have made it into my heart you should feel so very special because you will ALWAYS be there even if we never talk to each other again. Every single one of you cross my mind at different times but almost,if not, everyday. My love may change or grow but it is forever. You two gave me the one gift I've never had and that is confidence. I thank you for that. <3 He and I had to wait to become friends until now because I wasn't ready for him back then.

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