The loneliness is the usual now. I hurt from the lack of you. Were still the way we were before right? I haven't fucked everything up right? How does one make it through life without being depressed? What did I do wrong? What if I can't be happy all the time? Will that make you want to leave? What if I can never learn to love myself because people are constantly showing me the ugly they see in me? You say I'm beautiful but I know I can't be the most beautiful girl you've seen. You say I always look sad on vf but do you understand that its the distance from you that makes me sad? I'm missing all the little things I take for granted when I'm with you like being able to hold your arm as we walked along or the walks with you or simply the feeling of your hand in mine. I don't know what to with myself anymore. And everyday it seems like some girl could come by and still you from me and I wouldn't even have a chance to stop it. Your so hansome, kind, sweet and loving. I'm lucky you even give a broken girl like me a chance when there are so many other I know that prolly try for you everyday. I know you think I'm crazy to think this way. Maybe I think this way because my mom does. I've become the one person I never wanted to be like. Please save me from her terrible fate. I don't want to be her! She is everything I don't wanna be but everything I'm becoming. Save me. I've been so close to death before. I'm trying to fight these demons away for you. Something is wrong in my head and I don't know why. What if I'm crazy...I know I sound crazy. I have no idea why my head is messed up. And I don't wanna drag you down with me but I need you!
ok well for the millionth time im not going anywhere and as soon as you get away from them you wont become them, im sure the hell not going to become my parents one is an alcoholic who cant even remember to call me and the other is the best mom ever besides the fact she is bipolar and smokes weed
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